September 25, 1998 - Pulse on the Net
Etiquette For Gaming Geeks
Etiquette For Gaming Geeks
|
September 25, 1998 - Pulse on the Net
Etiquette For Gaming Geeks |
CHAPTER 2: THE ART OF CONVERSATION
The thing I stumble on most often is forgetting that to most people, what goes on in the games we play ISN'T REAL. To us, these are things that really happened, if only in the same way that events in a TV show or book happen. Other folks, however, just can't relate. They still will not be able to relate if you give a brief explanation of the game and THEN move on to the thrilling stories. If and when they actually try the games for themselves, then they may be able to relate. However, they still may not care.
Unfortunately, our friends don't care as much about what we "did" in a game as we do, and common acquaintances don't care as much as our friends. Thus, unless you're going into a spontaneous nostalgia session with the people who shared your exploits, resist the urge to talk about them. If the words have just gotta get out, keep a personal journal -- which, incidentally, can also bolster your writing skills.
Conversation is an art whose grace has diminished considerably in recent years. The ultimate goal of conversation is to exchange information and take pleasure in the engagement with others' personalities. The best conversational skill -- and the hardest to master -- is fully engaged listening. Unfortunately, too many people -- and this includes all sorts of folks, including the "beautiful people," and not just gaming geeks -- think the purpose of conversation is to impress others. Nothing will impress others less than operating on that assumption.
The most common manifestation of this fault among gamers, in my observation, is trying to be funny. Successful humor is natural humor. Strained humor is failed humor. Many gamers take the shotgun approach to humor: "If I say 20 things that I think might be funny, one of them is bound to be." Maybe, but that one funny thing will be less funny than if it had been the only thing you said, because the other 19 unfunny things will have annoyed your audience, making them less receptive to it.
Actually, to be blunt, some gamers just plain talk too damn much. I've sat at game tables with people who apparently thought they had to say SOMETHING about EVERYTHING. I don't want to tell people, "Nobody cares what you think," because that's a stifling approach to communication. It would not be far off the mark, however, to say that if you talk too much and say too little, people will gradually care less and less about what you say until they do in fact completely cease to care at all, and rather than absorb the priceless information you're gifting them, their minds will be preoccupied with wishing you'd just shut up. Mark Twain once said, "It's better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt"; my advice is simply to be more conscious of when you're engaging in true two-way communication and when you're just saying something to try to get attention, then to cut down drastically on the latter.
And for God's sake, don't laugh at your own jokes unless everyone else is -- and even then, a self-satisfied smile is enough.
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Copyright © 1999-2002. ConsimWorld.COM. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited. Web Masters are encouraged to link directly to this page, this URL is not subject to change. For general site information: kranz@consimworld.com
Headline News | Archives | New Products
Game Ratings | Clubs | Events | Discussion Board
Copyright © 1999, 2000 ConsimWorld.COM. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited. Web Masters are encouraged to link directly to this page, this URL is not subject to change. For general site information: kranz@consimworld.com
